The End is Near

You (all four of you) probably shed a few tears when I failed to update my blog these past two weeks. I know you struggled without your weekly dose of Caitlin Writing Complaints.

Well, I apologize for my tiny hiatus, but I plan to come back strong as ever.

WORD COUNT: 608

Okay that was a joke on my part. This is not strong. For two weeks this is a bit sad. But before you shake your heads and walk away in dismay, I have plenty of excuses to toss around! Are they valid? Well...eh. Most of them are. ]

Stress mauled me with a baseball bat these past few weeks. When I'm stressed, well, nothing good happens. My eating, writing, reading, school, everything habits sort of collapse inward and I tend to go into denial: aka I try to stuff my head with TV, food, books, things that make would usually make me happy. In the end, they don't even fill the hole I've dug due to the immense guilt I feel for putting off things that I actually need to do. In the end I'm only causing myself more stress because I'm trying to smoother the stress.

What has me thrown off is my pacing. I've been changing things around (missing a class here, getting out early there) and change screws up my schedule, screws up my eating habits. My body is already messed up (when will this so called period show its ugly head because it's been over a month already gosh darn it) and it refuses to act the way I want it to.

Basically I feel out of control. My writing has been put on the back burner for obvious reasons. It's still here--the document is always open. I'm always thinking about it, playing with it, but progress is little or close to none. It's frustrating because I want to give it the time it deserves but only four weeks of school. Four. Weeks. As much as I'm excited for a break, I'm biting my nails at the idea that I have only four weeks to get my grades in the position I want them to be in.

Grades or writing?

Grades obviously wins.

But I vow the day I get out of school, I'll immediately go home, pick up my laptop and hightail it to Starbucks and type away. My goal is to finish my first draft before Spring Semester starts.

There! See? Setting goals is progress! Right?